Right now, I don’t really feel anything.

I’m almost immune to my emotions.

I’m almost completely numb.

I feel as though I am done caring about anything. I feel like an alcoholic. But without any alcohol. I feel like I am coming off of drugs without doing any.

I even get the shakes like a druggy. Random shakes. Uncontrollable. Once they start I might as well sit tight because they are going to be there for awhile.

I have the uneven walk like I’m drunk. Mainly because I don’t care if I fall over and get hurt anymore. I don’t care about my posture while walking. As long as I get from point a to point b, I couldn’t care less how lazy my walk is. How uneven my step is.

One foot in front of the other as best I can.

I sleep all day, just to pass the time. The more time I am asleep, the less time I have to think. When I think it just makes everything worse. When I think, I think about everything. i analyze everything. I over analyze everything.

When I sleep, I’m not afraid. I’m not alone. I’m not sad. I’m in a state of limbo. I have no emotions. No thought process. Only dreams.

For once, things go my own way. In my dream world, I’m not hurt. I’m always happy. Why would I want to wake up from my perfect world into a world where I can do no right?

So if you see me sleeping, please don’t wake me. I’m happy.